Trusting His Timing
Mission preparation.
It comes with so many emotions. So many things to do. It feels like it's going by slow, and like you can't seem to get time to slow down. And all of a sudden, it feels like the time to leave is coming even closer. And boy, do you feel it! All the excitement. All the rush to get everything you need. The fear of going to an unknown place, traveling (possibly) by yourself.
I have two months until I leave, and yet I still haven't done much shopping. The first two months after I received my call was solely focused on getting my passport and visa stuff ready, to have on time before I leave. It felt like time couldn't move fast enough for me, and yet, when it started to, it felt like it's moving too fast. And my mind starts to race, and I can't keep up with it.
Before I turned in my mission application. From the time I started until I submitted, was almost a year. I would pray many times to know if it was the right thing for me to do as the timing wasn't what I wanted it to be. I wanted to leave as soon as I thought I could. But every step forward, I felt like, I was continually being slowed down. I felt God was delaying my mission. When I did my dental, I thought it'd be a cake walk because last time I went, there were no wisdom teeth. Then all of a sudden, there were. And I was slowed down and felt discouraged. I remember thinking, “What's the point in this?” But I felt the Spirit telling me, “Think about what God is preparing for you, He has so much more in store for you. Just keep going, trust in Him. You've come this far, why not wait just a little longer?” God's plans are so much bigger than what we plan for ourselves. And His timing is always perfect. So why fear or worry?
Everything works out for them who love Him. He's got it. Just have faith.
Part of the journey is learning to put complete trust and faith in Him. He gives us the opportunity to do that through our trials and tests of faith.
We're often told that we don't get to go where we hope to go on a mission. I didn't really hope for anything, maybe to speak French, but my main thought was, like the hymn, “I'll go where You want me to go.” In high school, while learning French, I wanted to become fluent, and I prayed, asking for help to become more fluent in French. I didn't feel like I progressed a lot, but I worked hard and wanted it so bad. That's why, when I got my mission call, I was shocked, excited, and felt very blessed. I get to speak French! And I get to become more fluent in it. It will be different. I can pray for the Spirit to help me in my learning and understanding. And my learning and understanding will be quickened by it. For “Every man shall hear the fulness of the gospel in his own tongue, and in his own language, through those who are ordained unto this power” (Doctrine and Covenants 90:11).
I know that as we put our complete trust and faith in Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ, we will better see their help and plans for us. We will find greater joy, peace, and hope. President Ezra Taft Benson testified that “Men and women who turn their lives over to God will discover that He can make a lot more out of their lives than they can. He will deepen their joys, expand their vision, quicken their minds, … lift their spirits, multiply their blessings, increase their opportunities, comfort their souls, raise up friends, and pour out peace.” (Chapter 1: The Great Commandment—Love the Lord.” 2014. January 1, 2014).